Last Tag Show
14/04/2007, Last.fm web
Written by Martin Kohout (Pash*)
Moderator - hello world!
Moderator - welcome to the LastTagShow!
Instructor - please introduce yourselves!
Moderator - Ich Helga has a stomach ache today
Gregg - hello?!
Hannah - please! get organised! we are too many!
Moderator - Momm left the room crying
Gregg - so?
Hannah - Marck! you are an idiot! why did you do that?!
Instructor - Hannah, don't talk loud to him please
Papa - I ordered a pizzza
Ich Helga - she ate her tissue and she's crying
Gregg - Momm? oh I see
Moderator - please be patient
Hannah - you shut up!
Gregg - I like your style
Moderator - pizzza at the door!
Instructor - you mustn't tell anyone
Hannah - keep quiet!
Momm - does the one have any problems with me?
Moderator - no, sorry... you are fine
Hannah - you idiot! and who will take the crying scene now?
Instructor - hey... this girl likes you and she is hot!
Moderator - are you blind? have you seen her ass?
Gregg - if you leave her.. let me know
Momm - swallow first before you talk please
Instructor - now it will get much better!
Moderator - no, it's too late...
Jaacob - hello brothers and sisters!
Marck - we wish you a nice day!
Zita Vass - Hello, my name is Zita Vass. I love Marvin Gaye, read Barnes and Nobel. I don't want kids and I'm gemini.
pizzza - I wish I can say longer sentences
Ich Helga - do you have a myspace account?
Zita Vass - Sure! Check it! www.myspace.com/Zita !
Hannah - I wish I had so many friends too
Marck - sorry I'm shy,, but you know...
Moderator - his sister has used to bite his nails
Instructor - no! man!
Ich Helga - yes, your tits looks smaller in real!
Zita Vass - You're just kids...
Moderator - Zita has a boyfriend
pizzza - finished
Instructor - have you seen the shoutbox?
Hannah - oh yes! and what... ?
Moderator - cat came to the room and ate the pizzza box
Papa - thanks sweetie
Zita Vass - Anybody watching my profile?
Marck - did you sleep with the fat man from the photo?
Hannah - of course she did! we both!
Ich Helga - but you failed... you are too old
Detective - can I write this down?
Instructor - no answers please
cat - it hurts
Momm - I know you little idiot
Papa - I know you too my darling
Moderator - poor... poor!
Detective - does he act like this often?
Ich Helga - yes, he is alcoholic... haven't you heard it?
Gregg - no, it was me!
Hannah - don't be proud!
Gregg - ouch! fucking cat!
Accident - is it my time now?
Instructor - yes
Moderator - no please! not now!
Instructor - no... yes!
Hannah - oh my god!
Moderator - dear friends....
Moderator - the worst has happened
Detective - please! once more! i need more pictures!
Zita Vass - Is this real?
Hannah - no dear... this is just a fiction
Marck - but it seems it hurts
Jaacob - brother, rather watch the wall
Zita Vass - No! I'm real! I have an account at myspace!
Marck - and her sentences start with capitals...
Papa - kids! that's not funny!
Momm - I don't love you any more
Instructor - too bad!
cat - I must go
Marck - so what? you talk?!!!!
Ich Helga - don't be scared... it's not the worst
Moderator - this one is stupid
Zita Vass - He is right
Ich Helga - what?! say it again!
Zita Vass - Watch out!
Moderator - it was quick
Hannah - where is my iPod?
Marck - don't point at me! ihave iRiver!
Detective - did they pay you for this ad?
Hannah - they should
Zita Vass - they iDid
Marck - you're iDull
Moderator - Papa is watching porn and Momm is crying
Instructor - in a bathroom!
Moderator - oh, yes,,, of course
Instructor - sure!
Moderator - ok! you were right
Instructor - what is your perfume?
Moderator - hmm, you like it?!
Marck - me too! but i'm not gay!
Moderator - Marck fell from the window and broke one leg
Detective - sure... I haven't seen this one... don't worry...
Marck - the left one!
Voiceover - I wish You'd understood it
Papa - I'm old... I will die now to make more free space for next generations and rain forests
Detective - what? bored?
Accident - Papa, do you need my help?
Momm - can I?
Papa - you're all losers, fakers and hyenas! I'm brave! I shut the TV! I vomited at the picture of president! I mixed Cola with Pastis! And NOW I GO TO BED
Instructor - yes! be serious!
Hannah - passion is essential and blind
Moderator - what about some music? heh?
- - - -
Zita Vass - I sold my photo at eBay today! Did I tell you?
Marck - eBitch!
Hannah - louder please!
Ich Helga - EEbitch!
Moderator - I'm sorry for them... they're poor
Moderator - this is not a way to change the World
Instructor - oh shit... you too?
Momm - I'm not going to cry any single second anymore!
Zita Vass - Yeah!!
Detective - please make it short my pencil is off
Instructor - kids! listen to disco or die under the bookstore!
Voiceover - I wish this was a better day
Instructor - next one please
Moderator - they all spread love
Hannah - so now, what about my ass?
Gregg - made my day
Hannah - sorry, but you are real zer0
Marck - has anyone called a doctor?
Moderator - Zita Vass step on Marck's left leg
Detective - Zita Vass is e bitch
Moderator - only objective statements please
Detective - ok... whore
Voiceover - rather play another song
Voiceover - this seems to be deaf point
- - - -
Marck - I have no words... only My Pain
Hannah - no... can't be... we are fiction
Marck - maybe you are!
Papa - shit! you know what!?
Voiceover - ?
Papa - I can't sleep! Momm is barking in our bed
Moderator - try better
Instructor - listen to him
cat - I'm lost... Can you help me?
Hannah - sure... this is a third floor can you manage it?
Jaacob - tutorial is at google
Momm - BARK!
Moderator - cat left the room singing
Marck - no! my leg! fucking cat! I'll kill you!
Voiceover - please call me... I wish I had some sex for free
Detective - how old are you?
Voiceover - hey! you're not supposed to hear me!
Detective - ? right?
Instructor - turn back and watch the wall
Zita Vass - 73 people watched my photos last hour!
Moderator - no way... only 3 are listening
Instructor - we have a sound?
Voiceover - they are not informed
Voiceover - I wish they all have hemorrhoids
pizzza - time to leave
Papa - I must go to toilet
Hannah - me too! girls first
Jaacob - but be quick please
Marck - oh shit! I can't stand up
pizzza - I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry this is really pity situation
Moderator - music! quickly!
Voiceover - out of stock
Marck - this is not original... this is totally poor
Detective - please take my notes I need to go to toilet
Moderator - let's skip this part
- - - - - -
Zita Vass - Oh! So we have to continue.
Gregg - I know you're not smart but I really want to be with you alone
Hannah - they called me from above to kick your ass
Gregg - who?
Hannah - the last.fm guys! they hate you!
Gregg - oh shit! they will delete me from wiki!
Moderator - they will do your best
Voiceover - I wish they understood the political meaning of Gregg's paintings
Detective - this is redundant... concentrate please
Momm - fathers don't cry but you do
Papa - I wish I was the cat
Accident - I'm emo
Marck - I understand... 1 day we will all die
Zita Vass - You mean all together?
Momm - no... you will go first
Instructor - Momm, you're supposed to be sleeping... don't talk
Marck - this is a dead point... the big crisis
Voiceover - please e-mail me something clever... this is too much
Detective - what is that you try to say?
Hannah - he is not responsible for his words
Hannah - he is not the one who wrote them
Gregg - but we suffer for it... I want to know our boundaries
Instructor - be happy... don't ask!
Voiceover - no mails yet....
Gregg - but it's late now... tell us... will we really die soon?
Voiceover - I wish they all shut up
Moderator - let's play some music
Voiceover - and no mails yet
Instructor - you looser
- - - - -
Voiceover - ocean is for bravelles astronauts
Hannah - hey! where do I know this one from?
Gregg - from pash* darling
Hannah - be serious and don't touch my pants
Gregg - but just imagine we are alone
Hannah - haha. that would never happen
Moderator - Hannah and Gregg alone in a locked van
Moderator - Hannah and Gregg naked
Instructor - yeh! go for it!
Moderator - Hannah and Gregg nervous
Voiceover - one mail... viagra for $3.25 and cialis for $4.44
Hannah - oh my god!
Moderator - Gregg's health is really weak
Voiceover - levitra for $4.44 and Microsoft Windows for $79
Gregg - I'm sorry
Hannah - no way... I think I love you anyway
Hannah - we can try once more
Gregg - but they are watching
Moderator - yes and Hannah likes it like that
Zita Vass - Hey! Can I get her role? She is terrible!
Instructor - Moderator... please!
Moderator - Zita Vass and Instructor are alone in a locked van
Zita Vass - Shit! You are fat!
Moderator - sorry. Zita Vass and Marck are alone in a locked van
Marck - no way! I'm gay! go away!
Hannah - no, he is just shy
Instructor - hey!
Moderator - excuse me for a moment...
Zita Vass - Can I say something?
Detective - what is his full name please?
Voiceover - this must be changed
Moderator - Zita Vass you have a boyfriend... I can't do it
Moderator - but I'd like to watch at least!
Zita Vass - But you're hype!
Momm - kids! clean up immediately!
Voiceover - everything o.k. now
Moderator - Hannah and Gregg on a table in the kitchen
Instructor - everybody watching!
Voiceover - this is really happening... take the money and run
Gregg - yes, I love that one
Moderator - I wish I was Thom Yorke for a single day
Voiceover - another mail... yes, I'm single, straight, slim, scorpio, not smoker, drinking, children someday
Hannah - I don't know what to say...
Marck - so shut up and help me with my leg
Papa - you are big boy! be brave!
Jaacob - are you MAD!? his leg is broken!
Zita Vass - But he killed the cat!
Marck - she has eight more...
Voiceover - loud: HaHaHa!
Accident - seven
Accident - six
Moderator - hey!
Accident - HaHaHa
Hannah - you are poor
Jaacob - dear Marck let me heal your problems by my new song
Moderator - Jaacob is very talented folk musician
Marck - but please no! I listen to metal only!
Jaacob - time to help your blind soul!
Voiceover - I wish he was Thom Yorke for a single day
Hannah - Jaacob! stop it! it hurts!!
Jaacob - give it a chance!
Accident - sorry Jaacob
Marck - but shit! it was really indie!!
Zita Vass - finally I liked it too
Moderator - Jaacob??
Voiceover - dear boys and girls... it's too late
Detective - but it was an accident...
Hannah - I didn't want this to happen
Jaacob - Vincent and Theo was my saddest song
Instructor - sorry, ghost can't speak
Moderator - oh,, babe,, be progressive
Jaacob - anyway everything I ever wished to say is there
Voiceover - I wish Thom Yorke was here with us for a single day
Papa - hello! I'm still here
Momm - bark!
Gregg - haf! {czech translation}
Thom Yorke - Hello everybody!
Hannah - oh! no!
Marck - I'm creep!
Thom Yorke - I see
Instructor - Thom, it's lunch time... go to bed
Zita Vass - In a city of a future...
Gregg - it is difficult to concentrate
Hannah - need no bus, need no wife
Papa - everybody's happy everyone is made for life
Voiceover - sing a song along
Momm - I feel old and I don't understand
Papa - how come that Zita Vass's sentences
Marck - start with capitals
Moderator - (collective mind)
Zita Vass - Because I'm real! Like Thom Yorke!
Jaacob - but I'm real too!
Gregg - no, you're dead
Hannah - deal with it
Cat - death is not the end
Jaacob - light at the end of a tunnel!
Voiceover - I wish Thom Yorke was back
Moderator - this situation is not new. we should know what to do now
Detective - fire in the attic!!!
Gregg - this joke is too old
Detective - drink your beer and shut up
Hannah - why do you wish to own the limelight?
Detective - because I'm smarter than you
Voiceover - ...
Moderator - THE END